


Come Back To Me

by ilithiyarys



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Childbirth, Drama, F/M, Field Surgery, Headcanon, Japril, Surgery, all the feels, blood cw, couple redemption, heYO, otp, ridiculous and unnecessary amounts of drama, so much drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2018-06-10 12:09:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6955942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilithiyarys/pseuds/ilithiyarys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a gruelling crash C-section at Meredith's, April has given birth to a healthy little baby girl. But what happens when complications arise in post-op?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is a bit of a prologue; an internal monologue. Tapping into what Jackson was thinking the moment April's ambulance rolled up in front of the hospital.

_I rushed toward the Ambulance bay in the ER. April's bus would be rolling in soon and I had no idea if she was okay or not._

_I'd heard everything over the phone; Ben cutting into her. Her pained screams. Our daughter's first breath. Our healthy daughter crying. Ben freaking out from the shock of successfully delivering a baby in the field. Ben mumbling April's condition to the medics because she was bleeding out. The medics working on her, saying things like complications. Protruding organs from her exposed abdomen. Internal Bleeding. Massive blood loss. Possible infection._

_From then, I'd been in the dark. Is she dead? Is she alive?_

_The ambulance rolled up and I ran as fast as I could. It didn't even make a full stop before I opened the back door._

_I screamed her name. There she was on that gurney._ _Unconscious. She wasn't looking so good._

_The colour had been drained from her face. She was so unnervingly pale. The colour in her cheeks had been flushed. There were dark circles under her eyes. She wasn't breathing on her own._ _I couldn't even think about what her body looked like right now under the blankets._

_I could slightly hear Bailey ordering the medics where to take her; what they would be doing._

_But I tuned them out; all I saw was her face._

_I didn't realize we'd made it to the OR before Robbins told me to stay back._

_I had to let go of her._

_So I watched through the doors, as they took her into the operating room. And for the first time in a while I'd uttered something I never thought I would say again._

_"Please God..."_

_I didn't really believe in God, but she did._

_And I prayed that He wouldn't take her home just yet._

 


	2. These Things Happen... Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> April falls into a coma after her surgery.

Jackson found himself staring at April's still form. She'd been hooked up to various monitors, IV's of antibiotics, tubes, wires; it all looked terribly overwhelming. He tried his best to comfort the little one resting in his arms, while listening to the consistent hiss of the ventilator breathing for April.

It'd been twenty-four hours since she was rushed into surgery. They'd nearly lost her a couple times, but Robbins and Bailey somehow managed to stabilize her. Her body had endured so much trauma, but she ultimately fell into a coma from sepsis. The incision had been exposed for too long, and the bacteria from the dish towels that Warren used to pack her with had entered into her bloodstream. They'd treated her with various antibiotics. Now the only thing they could do was to wait.

Jackson was still holding their unnamed daughter, sitting in the chair next to her bed. He couldn't bring himself to put their beautiful baby girl down. Staring at her daddy, he began talking to his unnamed bundle of joy.

"Hello beautiful," he cooed. Having her little fingers wrapped around his own gave him glimpse of what it meant to be a father; everything he's ever wanted since Samuel's death.

She was all wrapped around his fingers. He just wanted to protect her, and keep her safe. He never wanted to let her go. He continued. "You've got a really strong mama. One of the strongest. I can't wait for her to meet you. Tell you what, when she wakes up we'll name you. We'll give you the most perfect name," he paused, to glance over at April. He let out a sigh, hoping she would wake up soon.

"But we'll just have to wake until mum wakes up kiddo." Jackson kissed her little forehead and cradled her with one arm before glancing over at April's direction again. With his free hand he reached for her's, gently rubbing circles on the back of April's hand and began talking to her.

"You know, it's been almost twenty-six hours since our child's birth and we haven't quite agreed on a name yet. All those talks planning our child's future and co-parenting and we never gave any thoughts about a name," he chuckled. "I've been thinking a lot about a possible name, and I've fallen in love with the name 'Hannah.' What do you think? I love how it just rolls off the tongue. _Hannah Kepner-Avery_. Obviously I'm not going to name her yet, 'cause you need to have a say." He awkwardly paused, thinking about the trauma and pain the woman before him had endured. He pulled his chair a little closer to the redhead.

"God, April, I wish you were awake so we could talk. I don't know what to do. I want… I want to do something but I don't know what to do either. I want to hug you, hold your hand, comfort you, but it feels so wrong because you're no longer my wife. But you're still my best friend, always have been, and always will be. I know I've said you 'were' my best friend, as in past tense, but April, I still think about you every single day. I know, it's selfish of me to think of you when I was the one who wanted out. You wanted to fight for us. You wanted us to stay… And I couldn't. I didn't. I couldn't find myself talking to you. It's dumb of me, 'cause I used to be able to talk to you and say whatever was on my mind. And you'd give your cute little fake laugh to make me feel better… You'd just gaze into my eyes, and that sparkle in your eyes would outshine everything else around us."

Jackson sighed, listening to her steady heartbeat.

"I guess I should cut to the chase. I'm so thankful you pulled through the birth and surgery, April. But I need you to pull through this coma… For our daughter. For me. I don't think I can do this without you. I… I don't know how to do this without you. Please, April? Please wake up… We need you," He pleaded.

"I need you."


	3. These Four Lonely Walls Have Changed The Way I Feel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fatherhood has proved its difficulty on Jackson.

It was the middle of the night when his daughter suddenly began screaming and crying. Startled, Jackson nearly fell off the bed hearing just how noise his baby girl was making. He stepped over to her crib, which was right next to his bed. There wasn't any point in putting her in the nursery across the room when it was just the two of them.  

He reached for his daughter and began rocking her.  

"Hey, it's okay, sweetheart. I've got you. Shh, daddy's right here. I'm right here."  

Jackson held her against his chest, gently bouncing her. Despite his efforts to calm her down, she just wouldn't give. She kept crying and screaming. Nothing that he was doing seemed to be working. 

"Baby, please, daddy's right here," he pleaded, exhaustion and desperation full in his voice.  

For the last couple weeks, she'd been a good baby. No crying or screaming or anything of the sort. She could usually sleep through the night without making noise. But as the weeks progressed, she would wake up in the middle of the night, alarming him. He'd try and do absolutely everything he could to calm her down. And every night, Jackson would panic, not knowing what to do. 

One night, he'd called his mother for help, which resulted in the suggestion of singing her to sleep like she had when Jackson was born.  

 _I can't sing to save my life. Thanks mama._  

Other nights, he'd call Robbins and Karev for advice, which resulted in the identical answer of either rocking her, talking to her, checking her diaper, giving her baby formula, using her pacifier.  

 _Freakin' Pediatricians._  

Another night, he'd even reached out to Meredith for help. Which resulted in her saying the exact same thing as everyone else. 

Other times, Jackson would straight up sleep over at the other doctors' houses with his daughter in hopes of other people being able to calm her down. Which resulted in everyone being exhausted and cranky the next morning over the lack of sleep. 

Jackson came to the conclusion that nothing was working, and he knew why. 

She wanted her mum.  

Parenting was hard enough. But with the other half lying in a hospital bed, it made everything exponentially harder. He hadn't realized how difficult it was to raise a child alone. He needed her.  

He couldn't do this without her. 

* * *

 

The next morning came by, and he'd made his way to the hospital for their daily visit with April. Today he'd finally managed to get Hannah to fall asleep, leaving her in her carrier seat set next to him. 

Jackson sat by April's bedside, grasping her limp hand. 

Despite him being on paternity leave and not required to work for a while, he had come every day just to visit her. It didn't feel right for their daughter to go a day without visiting her mum.  

He would spend hours with April with their daughter. He'd do paperwork, occasionally check on his patients at the hospital, grab some food, play with their daughter, talk to April, do more paperwork, talk to April again, until it was time to go home for the day.  

And he'd do it all over again the next day, and the next, and the next. 

He'd done this since the night their daughter was born.   

Sometimes he would talk to her, and other times he'd sit in complete silence, hoping that she'd wake up soon.  

Sometimes he'd be joined by the other doctors, mainly Arizona or Alex; the former saying things like  _"she'll pull through,"_  and  _"she's going to be fine,"_  and the latter saying things like  _"it's Kepner, dude. She's gone to hell and back fighting for your marriage, what makes you think she isn't doing the same right now for her life?"_  

Sometimes it would bring him comfort. Other times, it just felt like empty words. 

But today, he really needed to talk to her. Tears welled up behind his eyes, taking in the sight of his ex-wife like this. 

"Hey, April. Can you believe two weeks has gone by? Two weeks today. I hope you don't mind that I've named our daughter Hannah… Believe me, if we could have it your way, I would've waited for you so you could have a say. But everyone's been pushing for a name. I mean, I get it. It's kinda weird not being able to tell people what our daughter's name is when they ask." 

He chuckled before continuing.  

"But they also needed her name for the birth certificate. Which makes sense, since, you know, she's here and she's healthy. And she's  _ours_." 

Jackson smiled. "I think you'll love the name Hannah. You're not gonna believe this, but hear me out," 

The man shifted in his seat, checking on Hannah, who was still sound asleep in her carrier. 

"Well, I mean you probably are gonna believe this cause you're Christian and this is your thing so… Yeah. Anyway, You ready? Okay. This is gonna sound crazy, but I've been going a little stir crazy around the apartment. I happened to find some things you left behind. Then I came across a bible you'd left behind. Funny right? You'd think I would be the last person to open one up." he chuckled, thinking about it. 

"Then I came across the coolest thing. A story, actually. I saw the name 'Hannah' and it caught my attention. It only gets better." 

"So this Hannah… She reminds me of you. Her strength, sacrifice, faith in God. She's also portrayed as one of the strongest mothers in the bible. And I figured, maybe we should name our daughter after her strong mother. You deserve that." 

"Hannah also had a son. A son named Samuel," Jackson paused, smiling at the thought of his late son.  "Now I know why you named our son Samuel."  

"Anyway, I figured, maybe I should give our daughter a biblical name as well. I wanted to honour your faith. I wanted to honour her brother. And most importantly, I wanted to honour you as a mother as well. That's how I see it." 

"But I mean, if you don't like it, we can always change it. I'm okay with whatever you want to name her." 

"God, April. I need you… I can't do this without you. Parenting, co-parenting, or whatever. It's hard. I'm not gonna lie, April, it's hard. The sleepless nights, time and effort put into trying to get Hannah to sleep, the diaper changes, changing her clothes, feeding her, burping her. Everything. It's so hard. And without you… Without her mother, she just doesn’t seem to stop crying. I don't know what to do, April." 

"I'll be honest, April… I've gotten a taste of what life is like without you. When you left for Jordan. Twice. And after the divorce… I've realized that my life just isn't the same without you. The lonely nights. Empty apartment..." 

"And I know it's gonna hurt you, because you still don't know about me seeing other women, but it still feels… Empty. Like no other can satisfy my soul the way you did. No one can compare to you. You're… You're the missing piece of a puzzle. It doesn't work without you. And with a child in the mix… If I have to live a life without you… It's a life that just won't do." 

"God, I never realized how much I need you for this. For Hannah. For us. This parenting thing… It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And without you… I don't… I really don't know what to do. I feel so lost, April… You're the one that knows how to do this best. You're the one that can figure this out better than I ever could. You always were the better half, April. My better half. Hannah… She loves me, and she loves you too. But she doesn't want me like she wants you, April. She... She _craves_ for her mother's touch. Her mother's voice. Her mother's presence. And sometimes I get so upset, because of the reality of our situation as separated parents. That no matter what I do, Hannah will always want you. And I get it. You have what I can't give to her. I don't have a mother's touch. I don't have a mother's soothing, calming voice. I can't breastfeed. I didn't have that connection with her when she was in the womb, like you did. She wants you, April… She… She needs you. I've been trying and doing my best, April, but even my best won't be a match to what you  _can_ do. What you _will_  do.She needs you, April. We need you." 

He paused a moment to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"I need you, April… God, Please come back to me…" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title is a play on Naughty Boy's song "Runnin'". Bonus points if you actually take a look at the lyrics because it's where this story is headed ;)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing for Grey's! I'm also not much of a medical expert, but I had to try something. I love Japril so much and the season 12 finale was absolutely incredible. I really do think they're on the path of getting closer, but obviously one episode isn't going to be a game-changer. Don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer in Japril being endgame, and I really do believe that Jackson still has feelings for April (like come on, did you see his FACE?!) 
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to do something that makes Jackson realize that he can't live without his best friend. I hope you enjoy. I'm thinking of keeping this pretty short, maybe a 3-shot, but who knows! We'll see where the story goes and what happens. As always, thanks so much for taking the time to check out my stories.


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